Sunday, May 4, 2014

Round & round.....

It's been an "interesting" few weeks!
Suffice it to say that there have been some surprises and not all of them good.
I have learned (yet again!)....that things are not always what they appear to be. Masks are not only worn on Halloween and "Mean Girls" was apparently based on real life events...(cue the "Law & Order" theme music....)

I have felt like I'm on shaky ground lately, not fully trusting my judgment of certain people in my life.
It's not a comfortable feeling for a number of reasons and I don't feel completely comfortable admitting it, but it's the least it's my truth. 
My secrets keep me sick and I am sick and tired of feeling sick, so I'm letting go of some of my secrets.

I've recently started to address some behaviors that no longer serve me. I'm starting to learn new coping skills to help me deal with people, places, & things over which I have no control... (everything!)

I'm finding myself in situations where I have the opportunity to practice NOT taking other people's words & actions personally. It's REALLY hard!
It's making me crazy (I'm making myself crazy, is more accurate...)because these situations are appearing in almost every area of my life & it's becoming increasingly difficult to convince myself that I am NOT the cause of the "crazy".
I'm spinning and obsessing and completely "up in my head"....that dangerous neighborhood that I should not venture into alone.

I am SO grateful that I have a few trusted souls with whom I can confide this stuff!

They remind me that I am exactly where I need to be and that I'm being taken care of. There's a bigger picture that I am not privy to and I need to focus on what's right in front of me in this moment...and this one...and then this one...and so on.

I need to take care of me....and turn my focus inward. I need to stop getting so involved with other people's "drama."
I have enough of my own, thank you...don't need to add more to it!
Back to basics with meditation, prayer, yoga, rest, and spiritual connections in all their many forms.
I need to reach out instead of shutting down, which is what I want to do. 
I need to get off the hamster wheel and focus on what I have to be grateful for....the list is endless!
I need to remember that I need to take care of myself and setting boundaries is one way to do that.

Today was a great day!
Happiness was definitely the priority du jour....

Sweet dreams, friends!

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